Left behind...

The feeling of being left behind… It makes me feel that I am so out-dated… I just hate it… What should I do to prevent it? I felt hurt. I just somehow felt the pain being alone… I know that God is with me… But for some reason I still feel empty… What should I do? I won’t do anything to change myself… I just want to be myself… But… what should I do then? I found out that I actually can’t do anything by myself… Am I too stubborn? too selfish? or what? I know that had a lot of negative sites… But… this is me… What do you expect? What do you want me to do? Maybe I really deserve the pain… But… who knows?