the night my parents left me alone

This night my parents left me alone at home. I wonder if they are coming back together. It was raining heavily outside. I was sitting on my bed while looking at the rain.
Finally, there was peace in the house. There will not be any arguing or noises for tonight. I felt the peace but also the cold and the loneliness. I should be the one to be blamed. I am the one who made my parents fight. It is entirely my fault. But I cannot change the fate of my life.
I gazed at the dark blue sky. . And for the first time, I realised that the moon is so bright and beautiful. A lot of things have happened. There was not a chance for me to go back to normal life. This is the path God had chosen for me. I just cannot to change it.
Ever since the doctor found out that I had cancer, there was not a moment of peace at home. Mother was hoping to let me do the operation as soon as possible while father say it is just a waste of money. He say that he wish I could live happily for the years I had left. And he does not wish to see me in pain.
I act as if I am doing nothing, talking about nothing. It's not important to know if that's right or wrong. With my faces looking like I am not thinking a thing but I felt everything. I am already in terrible pain. My heart was cracking into pieces. I feel that as if I am living in a place, a place with total darkness, a place where dawn will never come, a place where a new day will never start.
They say that they are going out to buy dinner. But their eyes told me that it is a lie. They just do not want to fight or shout in front of me. I know that they love me very much. I also love them very much. Therefore, I had decided to make a final decision and put an end to all these things. There is no turning back but I will never regret or should I say that I do not have enough time to start regretting.
I kneeled on the floor and put my hands together. I said a prayer for mom and dad will come back together and no more arguing. I took my penknife and made a deep cut on my wrist. Then, I insert my hand into the warm water. I looked at the blood as it flowing out of my wrist. The crimson blood mixed into the water. What a nice view. In fact, I do not feel any pain. I closed my eyes, hearing my heart beats as it slows down. But, soon it will stop. I am sure it will.
When that time comes it will be the end of me and the arguing. I mumbled: “Mom and dad… Please… Don’t fight anymore…” This was the first and also the last time for me to do things for the sake of love. My heart stops beating. I fell into a deep sleep, a sleep that I will never ever wake up from.