the night my parents left me alone

This night my parents left me alone at home. I wonder if they are coming back together. It was raining heavily outside. I was sitting on my bed while looking at the rain.
Finally, there was peace in the house. There will not be any arguing or noises for tonight. I felt the peace but also the cold and the loneliness. I should be the one to be blamed. I am the one who made my parents fight. It is entirely my fault. But I cannot change the fate of my life.
I gazed at the dark blue sky. . And for the first time, I realised that the moon is so bright and beautiful. A lot of things have happened. There was not a chance for me to go back to normal life. This is the path God had chosen for me. I just cannot to change it.
Ever since the doctor found out that I had cancer, there was not a moment of peace at home. Mother was hoping to let me do the operation as soon as possible while father say it is just a waste of money. He say that he wish I could live happily for the years I had left. And he does not wish to see me in pain.
I act as if I am doing nothing, talking about nothing. It's not important to know if that's right or wrong. With my faces looking like I am not thinking a thing but I felt everything. I am already in terrible pain. My heart was cracking into pieces. I feel that as if I am living in a place, a place with total darkness, a place where dawn will never come, a place where a new day will never start.
They say that they are going out to buy dinner. But their eyes told me that it is a lie. They just do not want to fight or shout in front of me. I know that they love me very much. I also love them very much. Therefore, I had decided to make a final decision and put an end to all these things. There is no turning back but I will never regret or should I say that I do not have enough time to start regretting.
I kneeled on the floor and put my hands together. I said a prayer for mom and dad will come back together and no more arguing. I took my penknife and made a deep cut on my wrist. Then, I insert my hand into the warm water. I looked at the blood as it flowing out of my wrist. The crimson blood mixed into the water. What a nice view. In fact, I do not feel any pain. I closed my eyes, hearing my heart beats as it slows down. But, soon it will stop. I am sure it will.
When that time comes it will be the end of me and the arguing. I mumbled: “Mom and dad… Please… Don’t fight anymore…” This was the first and also the last time for me to do things for the sake of love. My heart stops beating. I fell into a deep sleep, a sleep that I will never ever wake up from.

Dripping...

Blood dripping,
Heart beating,
Breathing increasing,
My little world collapsed,
Turning crimson within seconds,
The forgotten memories returned,
Wounds reopening without a sound,
Forming a nightmare in reality,
Just what I feared,
What I hated,
The pain reappeared,
Destroying my peaceful life.
The injured bird,
It had returned,
So quietly,
So unexpectedly,
So unwanted…

Homecoming

Good day...
Happy time...
Forgotten memories appeared,
so sudden, so shocking,
Suhaila is back,
Yea, she came,
she came,
Of couse she did,
She promised,
I mean she told us she will,
Or did she say she might...
Anyway, she came back...
Happy? Of couse!
Glad? No doubt!
Its impossible to mot be...
XD, so high so high so high today!!!
Love you suhaila!!!