HALLOWIN
this is the first time is celebrating hallowin. Due to the lighting it isnt possible to take any pictures. Thus i only take pictures after the event, i mean after dinner, while we were walking back home. i considered some of the photo WONDERFUL! I'll try to upload it here and to facebook if the connection show positive signs. Cheers.

long long weekend

Gone back to my hometown. There's this two feeling, upset and happy, trying to be upon each other, battling for the victory. im exhausted and the mixed feelings is making it worse. Terrible... Oww, maybe forgettin my passport isnt a bad thing at all. At least it make me forget about things for a few precious minutes. My goal for this long and terrible weekend is to do something useful. For the past holidays all i did was slack. And i'm gonna break the record this time. Let's hope that im up to it... happy long terrible weekend...

Poem!!!

There you are Scarlet my dear
Here you are and nothing I’ll fear
Never leaving you had said so clear
And I trust you that’s for sure
The clouds gathered, the rain shattered
You rushed into the room, dissolved my doom
You leap in bed and sang me a tune
You held my hands and dragged me to school
Sat next to me so I won’t go blue
Whispers exchanged, notes passed by
Just to get me awake and my eyelids light
They stare, they pointed and commented on me
Look at that girl, she look so lonely and mean
I don’t care, a thing that they say
As long you are here, I’ll be ok.
Chaos, sadness, regret or despair
All had faded when your kind smile appeared
But the day, mom ask for the friend’s that I have
I turned and found you had left
You left me alone staring a far
Right after mom cried and said that my name was Scar.

Brightest thing on earth

A teacher ask, "What is the brightest thing on earth?"
Many answered, nuclear explosion. The teacher smiled but didn't not respond.
A student stood up and said, "When you are in a rainy dark night , and you suddenly saw light..."
Everyone in class was quiet.

hope was the brightest thing on earth. With hope,everything is bright. With hope, you feel bright, with hope, you are bright. So don't lose hope in yourself, remember, everyone needs to go through some bad things. Have hope and it will end.
Just like the day and night. If you manage to stay alive all night, you will be able to see the sunrise, you will be able to see light. Have hope

the end is the beginning

A ask B,"Why don't I ever reach the end?"
B said to A, "Because you are going in circles."
A ask B, "Why don't I reach the end even going straight?"
B said to A, "Because there is no end."
Girl, "Why does he keeps going on even if there is no end?"
Tree, "If there is no end there isn't a need to go on."
Quote from The silly little girl and the funny old tree.

There is beginning in life, there is an end in life. If there is no end, there is no reason to go on. The end of something is the beginning of another. The same teory occurs to life. The end of life is the beginning of life. There is an end for anything. But there is simply 'no end'.
If your friend or who ever died, yes, it is the end of his or her life but it is the beginning of life without him or her.
Never give up no matter what. It is only the end of that particular thing but not yours. Walk till you reach the very end of yours. Just remember the end of something is the beginning of another.

Time flies like arrow?

Does time really flies fast. When your long-time-no-see relatives came and visit you(children), they will say, "Wow, I remember last time you were still a small kid but now you have grown up. Time flies fast isn't it?"
After some thinking for somedays, I realise that it wasn't that time flies fast, it's just that our brain is so powerful that it manage to keep the memory as if it had just happened recently. Thus, creating the feeling that time had gone fast.
Well when one is very into something, time seems like it flies like arrow. For example playing opnline games, you felt you had just played for a while and when you, look at the clock, one hour had passed. It feels that time had slipped away fast. But no, it isn't I is just that your mind was so into the game and had made your brain wanting to play more and had lost track of time.
It's just the brain playing tricks with us and not the time. Our brains are powerful. But remember a heart is still more powerful than the brain.

In the ambulance

In the ambulance
My lung grasp for air
Fortunate, my heart kept pumping without fail
Muscle tightening
Vision blurring
Hearing the dreadful siren
While others was silent
The staff talked to me
I could scarcely reply
I just couldn’t believe my eyes
I’m too tired to even say hi
Just lying there breathing faintly
My brain was barely awake
Fighting with the tiredness
My heart was trying desperately to stay conscious
I thought of what happen during the gathering before
I always knew a healthy human is what I can’t be
But only now had I finally accepted the fact
It was unavoidable, isn’t it?

Camp

One week left. Undone homework spread on my table, my mom's nagging surroundin me. After the camp, I need to say it is fun. The activities are fun, full of challenge. There you could hear fear,encourgement, stillness of slient, bitterness of failure, happiness of sucess and of couse power of unity. I don't know how these words came out, bt it is true. Just standin aside as an audience, no matter how bad is your understandin of people, you can feel it. Everyone of there for a reason. Everyone is here for someone. Sum all up I enjoyed the camp. It costed me $90(includin my bus fees). I learnt a lot and thanks a lot of the chance.

the night my parents left me alone

This night my parents left me alone at home. I wonder if they are coming back together. It was raining heavily outside. I was sitting on my bed while looking at the rain.
Finally, there was peace in the house. There will not be any arguing or noises for tonight. I felt the peace but also the cold and the loneliness. I should be the one to be blamed. I am the one who made my parents fight. It is entirely my fault. But I cannot change the fate of my life.
I gazed at the dark blue sky. . And for the first time, I realised that the moon is so bright and beautiful. A lot of things have happened. There was not a chance for me to go back to normal life. This is the path God had chosen for me. I just cannot to change it.
Ever since the doctor found out that I had cancer, there was not a moment of peace at home. Mother was hoping to let me do the operation as soon as possible while father say it is just a waste of money. He say that he wish I could live happily for the years I had left. And he does not wish to see me in pain.
I act as if I am doing nothing, talking about nothing. It's not important to know if that's right or wrong. With my faces looking like I am not thinking a thing but I felt everything. I am already in terrible pain. My heart was cracking into pieces. I feel that as if I am living in a place, a place with total darkness, a place where dawn will never come, a place where a new day will never start.
They say that they are going out to buy dinner. But their eyes told me that it is a lie. They just do not want to fight or shout in front of me. I know that they love me very much. I also love them very much. Therefore, I had decided to make a final decision and put an end to all these things. There is no turning back but I will never regret or should I say that I do not have enough time to start regretting.
I kneeled on the floor and put my hands together. I said a prayer for mom and dad will come back together and no more arguing. I took my penknife and made a deep cut on my wrist. Then, I insert my hand into the warm water. I looked at the blood as it flowing out of my wrist. The crimson blood mixed into the water. What a nice view. In fact, I do not feel any pain. I closed my eyes, hearing my heart beats as it slows down. But, soon it will stop. I am sure it will.
When that time comes it will be the end of me and the arguing. I mumbled: “Mom and dad… Please… Don’t fight anymore…” This was the first and also the last time for me to do things for the sake of love. My heart stops beating. I fell into a deep sleep, a sleep that I will never ever wake up from.

Dripping...

Blood dripping,
Heart beating,
Breathing increasing,
My little world collapsed,
Turning crimson within seconds,
The forgotten memories returned,
Wounds reopening without a sound,
Forming a nightmare in reality,
Just what I feared,
What I hated,
The pain reappeared,
Destroying my peaceful life.
The injured bird,
It had returned,
So quietly,
So unexpectedly,
So unwanted…

Homecoming

Good day...
Happy time...
Forgotten memories appeared,
so sudden, so shocking,
Suhaila is back,
Yea, she came,
she came,
Of couse she did,
She promised,
I mean she told us she will,
Or did she say she might...
Anyway, she came back...
Happy? Of couse!
Glad? No doubt!
Its impossible to mot be...
XD, so high so high so high today!!!
Love you suhaila!!!

Hmm... My blog is dead for a month due to laziess. XP oops...
Anyway, I'm here to upload some photos I took that day at Joy's house( it's mostly butter bisc)


Ghost...

Heart... (my creation... XD)

The last cupcake we made... Lonely little fellow...

Dozens of cupcakes

a 'y'

April is scooping up the 1st tray of cookie

washing the container for the butter cookie

slice of cheese...

Camille was mixing the butter, flour, wheat flour, salt, icing suger and vanilla together...



2nd tray of cookies...

putting it on the cooler

Joy's turn to scoop the cookies

Cookies!!!

the packet of chou da cookies...Reserve for us... XD A bit bitter but it's nice!

The toaster we used...

Another try of cookies

Stuffing the mixture into the container...

Camille is blocking the view...

Camille playing with the bowl of... erm... something.
-end-
shld have put rebecca's photo... the one when her hair falls all over her face... maybe next time... XD