the night my parents left me alone

This night my parents left me alone at home. I wonder if they are coming back together. It was raining heavily outside. I was sitting on my bed while looking at the rain.
Finally, there was peace in the house. There will not be any arguing or noises for tonight. I felt the peace but also the cold and the loneliness. I should be the one to be blamed. I am the one who made my parents fight. It is entirely my fault. But I cannot change the fate of my life.
I gazed at the dark blue sky. . And for the first time, I realised that the moon is so bright and beautiful. A lot of things have happened. There was not a chance for me to go back to normal life. This is the path God had chosen for me. I just cannot to change it.
Ever since the doctor found out that I had cancer, there was not a moment of peace at home. Mother was hoping to let me do the operation as soon as possible while father say it is just a waste of money. He say that he wish I could live happily for the years I had left. And he does not wish to see me in pain.
I act as if I am doing nothing, talking about nothing. It's not important to know if that's right or wrong. With my faces looking like I am not thinking a thing but I felt everything. I am already in terrible pain. My heart was cracking into pieces. I feel that as if I am living in a place, a place with total darkness, a place where dawn will never come, a place where a new day will never start.
They say that they are going out to buy dinner. But their eyes told me that it is a lie. They just do not want to fight or shout in front of me. I know that they love me very much. I also love them very much. Therefore, I had decided to make a final decision and put an end to all these things. There is no turning back but I will never regret or should I say that I do not have enough time to start regretting.
I kneeled on the floor and put my hands together. I said a prayer for mom and dad will come back together and no more arguing. I took my penknife and made a deep cut on my wrist. Then, I insert my hand into the warm water. I looked at the blood as it flowing out of my wrist. The crimson blood mixed into the water. What a nice view. In fact, I do not feel any pain. I closed my eyes, hearing my heart beats as it slows down. But, soon it will stop. I am sure it will.
When that time comes it will be the end of me and the arguing. I mumbled: “Mom and dad… Please… Don’t fight anymore…” This was the first and also the last time for me to do things for the sake of love. My heart stops beating. I fell into a deep sleep, a sleep that I will never ever wake up from.

Dripping...

Blood dripping,
Heart beating,
Breathing increasing,
My little world collapsed,
Turning crimson within seconds,
The forgotten memories returned,
Wounds reopening without a sound,
Forming a nightmare in reality,
Just what I feared,
What I hated,
The pain reappeared,
Destroying my peaceful life.
The injured bird,
It had returned,
So quietly,
So unexpectedly,
So unwanted…

Homecoming

Good day...
Happy time...
Forgotten memories appeared,
so sudden, so shocking,
Suhaila is back,
Yea, she came,
she came,
Of couse she did,
She promised,
I mean she told us she will,
Or did she say she might...
Anyway, she came back...
Happy? Of couse!
Glad? No doubt!
Its impossible to mot be...
XD, so high so high so high today!!!
Love you suhaila!!!

Hmm... My blog is dead for a month due to laziess. XP oops...
Anyway, I'm here to upload some photos I took that day at Joy's house( it's mostly butter bisc)


Ghost...

Heart... (my creation... XD)

The last cupcake we made... Lonely little fellow...

Dozens of cupcakes

a 'y'

April is scooping up the 1st tray of cookie

washing the container for the butter cookie

slice of cheese...

Camille was mixing the butter, flour, wheat flour, salt, icing suger and vanilla together...



2nd tray of cookies...

putting it on the cooler

Joy's turn to scoop the cookies

Cookies!!!

the packet of chou da cookies...Reserve for us... XD A bit bitter but it's nice!

The toaster we used...

Another try of cookies

Stuffing the mixture into the container...

Camille is blocking the view...

Camille playing with the bowl of... erm... something.
-end-
shld have put rebecca's photo... the one when her hair falls all over her face... maybe next time... XD

Why? (Credit: {/autumnlove♥)

A wonderful story!!!
We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour
I must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die

做回自己，重获新生命

是好是坏我不很清楚。。。感觉上我好像忘了蛮多的事。。。也忘了那悲伤心痛的感觉及回忆。我变得开朗了，没那么爱面子了，没那么沉默了。。。自从那天起，我成功地把心打开了。我找回了以前拥有的那单纯的快乐。。。我不再被黑暗，孤独或恶魔困扰了。我的生活变得有意义了。我不渴望任何的奇迹或证明。。。因为我已满足了。。。我已相信了，已明白了，已了解了。我承认我一切的过错，无知，固执及惧怕。我不再担心，不再害怕。。。因为我已得到永生，以及赦免。这博客也没有存在的必要了。不过我会把它留着，当作是回忆，当作是我走错路的提醒。我不再是以前的我的，这是一个新的开始。我不会再令你失望的。。。

Chinese youth camp

Best camp ever! Wanna thank all the people I met there. All of you really gave me a really precious and speacial holiday! You all are the best! Not to forget my lovely team, Mini mouse, 尼希米!!! Mini mouse rox!!! Love ya! (ll try 2 look 4 time 2 write report...>.<) Enjoy the following video!!! The camp de! Damn nice! Enjoy... 会督 and 副会督 are in there! ^-^